Friday, January 1, 2010

Soundtrack to the year that was 2009

2009 was a highlight year. The multitude of things that I experienced this year is another reminder of God's blessings in my life. From the Hurricanes playoff run, seeing my family, traveling, and of course getting engaged, this year has had so many amazing moments. Its my pleasure to share my 2009 in song.




1. Eisley - "Come Clean"
and let's give it a try, let's keep it for truth, why do you wanna fall to pieces?
There was once a time in my musical taste when I plain just didn't enjoy bands with female lead singers. Somewhere around my transition to more folk music is where I found my affection for female leads. I first heard Eisley when I was listening to the Two Tongues album and I was captivated with Sheri Dupree's voice. I find it beautiful and soothing, and it would exactly what I needed during my downtime at work.

2. Explosions in the Sky - "Welcome, Ghost"
I've always been a reflective person. I've always enjoy the pursue of thinking. That reason is why I first created a blog, just a notebook for my random thought. But as I would start typing entries I would have incomplete thoughts. When I would type them out my entries sounded like sentences that came from the middle of a conversation. Unable to craft a good beginning or end, most of my entries would go unpublished. Finally, I decided to start this blog and no matter how uncoordinated my thoughts may be I would publish them anyways. This song sparked my first entry about memories.

3. Company - "Being Alive"
don't be afraid it won't be perfect, the only thing to be afraid of really is that it won't be.
I asked a friend of mine one day if she would recommend some musicals to listen to. Company would be part of that list. Its an interesting internal conversation when you are preparing to ask someone to join you in this journey of life. Specially when you come from a broken family. I wanted to concretely arrive at a decision, not be driven by emotion, or haste, or convenience. Everytime I felt I arrived at the eventual answer, I forced myself to ask the question again. And even when I looked at the questions with the most pessimistic point of view, this song answered a lot of those question.

4. AC Newman - "Prophets"
i was the silent partner for once, my heart was split into two sections, here is my heart and here is my song, there are too many prophets here.
One of the more endearing parts of How I Met Your Mother is their soundtrack. They always seem to find the right music to fit the mood of the scene. And when Ted was on top of the roof, ready to jump across to the other side and this song came on it was perfect. It was the worse year of Ted's life but because of the result finding his wife made it worth it. Made it "the best year" of his life. It made me think about my own journey. 05-06 I would say were some of the most trying years of my life. I lost my grandparents, I lost my first dog, I was in a bad relationship, I lost my own sense of self, I felt completely lost. But dammit, it was worth that hurt to lead me to Sara.

5. Neil Diamond - "Sweet Caroline"
touching me, touching you, sweet caroline, good times never seemed so good
It took me and Ryan a little time but we finally were able to attend a Hurricanes game sometime last year during the middle of the season. We were in the midst of a battle to make the playoffs. It started to engulf me, we would start heading to as many games as possible for the Canes. We finally made the playsoffs and they were some of the most exciting sport months of my life. The community really were starting to rally behind the team. I remember the scene clearly, it was game 7 against Boston, me and Ryan were at the Carolina Ale House, Scott Walker scores the winning goal in OT, then pandemonium happened at the Ale House. Dishes were being shattered on the ground, strangers were hugging and screaming at each other, "wooo" was being echoed through out the restaurant. It was a magical scene. At the end night of the night, they played Sweet Caroline and this 6'5" dude with Canes jersey put his arms around mine and Ryan's shoulders and in unison with the rest of the restaurant belted out the chorus. It was pretty damn glorious.

6. Tilly and the Wall - "Pictures of Houses"
will i ever wake from this dream to untie all the ships sailing away from me? it will be beautiful
Its weird to me that culture teaches you to completely forget everything about the past. We are such a present conscience society, we like to forget who we were, where we come from, who we've loved or befriended. We like to act like we've never had amazing moments before the present. I think those moments are still beautiful, regardless of my position in life. If you think just about those moments, isolated by itself, not thinking about events that transpired before or after, I believe you'll find these truly beautiful moments in your history. And its not to long for those moments back, its an acknowledgement amazing things in your life had happen. Acknowledgement that you'll never have that moment back but for that specific moment in time, it was a beautiful moment.

7. Pearl Jam - "Elderly Woman in a Small Town Behind a Counter"
hearts and thoughts they fade.... fade away......
I was listening to some mid 90's music one day because I was getting so sick of the pop music that was filling last decade's airwaves. Its was almost as if I forgotten that Pearl Jam made such a simple song. The song is about an old woman that never left her small town when a old flame walks through the door who has moved on from the town. Typically one would imagine that this woman should've taken some chances in her life and left the town. But when I heard the song, I started to wonder who said her life would be any better if she left her town. I believe in taking chances, even in the face of danger, I'd like to think I am a chance taker. But who to say that its any better? I came interested in this idea of a guy who took every single chance in his life. One of those chances must of backfired I figured, one if not all of those time he went out on a limb he must of failed. Is that guy still happy he took the chances?

8. Noah and the Whale - "Do What You Do"
when love comes a calling don't forget the tune and do what you do
There are a ton of anxieties when you are preparing to propose to someone. Specially someone like me, who has been in serious relationships before, you feel like maybe you are walking on eerily familiar ground. And then there's the popular pessimistic view in regards to marriage. Most people like to ignore these anxieties and continue on with the proposal. I wanted to make sure I considered it all. I didn't want to ignore that fact that I was scared. I didn't want to ignore the fact that my parents are divorced, or that I know people currently going through the process. I needed to explore these anxieties and these emotions. I happened to find Noah and the Whale on 88.1 and started to explore more of their music. Mindlessly listening to their record, I hit this song. I found a complete sense of comfort and peace. No more questioning was needed. I was ready to propose.

9. Sufjan Stevens - "You Are the Rake"
i never felt so safe, a line i once told her, warm resting place, her arms on my shoulders
This is my song of the year. Every time I hear it I think of so many things but with one subject... Sara. I imagine the dance we shared in the Japanese garden at Maymount park. I imagine the dance we will share on our wedding day, whispering the lyrics to her as the rest of the world fades away. I imagine 50 years down the line, dancing with her with wrinkled skin, telling her still that she is my rock. She is my safety and the place I feel at home. I fall monumently short of being a great man, but I with Sara by my side I strive for it everyday. With Sara by my side, I could become that great man, that great husband, that great father. As long as she is by my side.

10. Michael Buble - "That's All"
if you are wondering what i am asking in return dear, you'll be glad to know my demands are small, say its me that you adore for now and forevermore, that's all
People ask me time from time about the being engaged or the wedding, how I am feeling about it or just looking for a general reaction from me. Some individuals have the pessimistic questioning, "you're getting married?!" All this has left me giving pretty muted responses, typically when I am ask I kind of just shrug my shoulders and give some kind of generic response. But if anyone wanted to know how I really felt about getting married, I would tell them how freakin excited I am. I'd tell you how humbling this experience is because of the gigantic importance of this event, not only to me and Sara but our families. I am amazed that I am going to have my best friend has my partner in life. How excited I am to start a family, to become the Acostas. That every time I see Sara, I think of how in a couple of months she'll be my wife and how absolutely amazing that is. That I don't quite understand how God could bless me with such a wonderful person.

11. Stars - "Your Ex-Lover Is Dead"
i'm not sorry i met you, i'm not sorry its over, i'm not sorry there's nothing to save
I first got really into this song because I find it to be a really beautiful song. I just enjoy the melodies and lyrics, I found it to be a very well composed song. But listening to it for the 80th time straight made me think about my past relationships. Were those moments just passing time? How did those relationships effect mine and Sara's? Am I still angry at anything that happened? What were the mistakes that I made during those relationship? Considering these questions is a big reason I decided to type down the stories of my past. I always had these random beliefs and thoughts of what was my past, but typing out the stories gave me a true scene of that time and place.

12. Next To Normal - "Why Stay?/A Promise"
a promise a man says forever, a man says i'll never regret or let you, the promise that i made to stay and stay true
I am not naive enough to believe that marriage will always be full of sunshine and farts. I know that there will be times of difficulties. I know that there will even be moments that Sara or me will feel like ending it. In those difficult moments I will always stay true to my vows that I pronounced in front of God, my family and friends. That during those dark moments that there is a man and woman who loves each other beyond doubt or troubles. That in those times, I will passionately seek out my wife and pursue her endlessly.

13. Iron and Wine - "As Naked As We Came"
if i leave before you darling, don't you waste me in the ground
I can't help but to find peace in this song. I close my eyes while listening to this song and its like I can feel the world around me spinning. To me, its one of those songs that freezes time, and in these frozen moments you can appreciate life. I think this song illustrates my transformation into a indie folk acoustic guitar loving hippie.

14. Manchester Orchestra - "The River"
God i am sorry, i was wrong again, take me to the river, and let me see again
Ever have a song that wrecks you? A song that goes to the center of your core and shakes you? The River wrecks my soul. Its beautifully honest about my own journey in faith. I cry out for God just enough for comfort, for strength, for forgiveness, only to completely abandon Him the moment I feel sufficient. I passionately cry out for God's mercy and grace despite how I waiver for I know that He is the only one that can provide. One of my favorite quotes from the lead singer he said that how his life is, always wanting more, never being satisfied, but constantly being bless with something he didn't deserve. That is me in a nutshell.

1 comment:

  1. They place "Sweet Caroline" at the Lightning games too. It is really a lot of fun to hear everyone singing along.

    Also, Iron and Wine...I have to agree with you there. Every song I have heard from them is soothing and beautiful. And now, I have to plug the Iron and Wine song "Flightless Bird, American Mouth" from the Twilight (yes, Twilight) soundtrack. It's great. And the lyrics are a little weird.

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